Let us say, and why not, that Democratic vice-presidential candidate Tim Walz is asked about his GOP counterpart and declares in an interview, “JD Vance’s whole purpose in this world is to blow goats.” When asked what he means, Walz could clarify, “I mean that Senator and Republican vice-presidential candidate JD Vance has one reason for living, and that’s to suck goat dick. His entire life would be unfulfilled and he will be miserable if he doesn’t fellate goats on a regular basis. And I mean the whole act. From gently tongue-bathing the goat’s enormous testicles to bring it to full erection and then going down on that straw-sized dick until it ejaculates in his mouth. A goat dick-less JD Vance has no real value system or meaning in his life and he would have chosen a path to misery.”
How should the major media outlets react to such an absurd thing? Would CNN ask Vance if Walz is correct? Would they have a panel discussion on the idea that orally pleasuring goats is Vance’s purpose? Would commentators on the left quickly agree with Walz and insist that Vance’s lack of blowing goats clouds his judgment and the only way he can be a contributing member of society and not some sad goatless dude is to take the goat jizz regularly? Would other Democrats praise Walz for being brave enough to say the truth about Vance and goat blowing?
